Where's the Family con't

When my husband came home this evening he said that his brother in law had called & invited us to dinner tonite for his sister. I really did not want to go as my back is just healing over from the stabbing I took last time we attended a family dinner. I broke down and went but did not want the babies passed around as my daughter has taken to screaming whenever someone picks her up that she is not familiar with.

The entire time we were there my husband's sister did not acknowledge our children. This should not be an issue unless you know the history. See, when we were battling infertility and I had lost babies on different occasions it was hard for me to attend family celebrations because my husband's niece and nephews were present. I would end up putting myself on clean-up duty so I could do something that was not "kid" related. Then, within 36 hours of the "event" my husband would get a call basically fussing at him that I did not help out with the kids enough or that I was unsocial. No one really ever seemed to want to understand that I attended the event to be part of the family and not be alone but found the whole "kid" issue very hurtful. Now, given that we have had our butts chewed for this, it makes it all that more unbelievable that our babies were not acknowledged, for the second time that we have attended a family celebration.

Again, this is hard on my husband as he feels that this is petty but also sees that this could be an issue. How do I explain this to my children when they are old enough to see this going on toward them?