Being Here

It is so hard to be here in this town with my husband and babies. I don't fit in, never will be allowed to, and now our babies are being ignored by his sister, twice, at 2 different family events. It is just not easy to continue to be here knowing that there are these underlying issues. I truly wish we could move to another town where we would not have to deal with this on a regular basis. I have people that I talk with and surprising there are more people who see things my way than the family's way. There are several people whom the family think are their friends or they know and think these people feel one way when they have expressed a different viewpoint to me. They are actually glad that they someone (me) who knows what they are talking about when they need to vent. The sad thing is that I do not repeat what I know but because I don't I get blamed for any resulting foul-up. There are so many things that they have said about each other and family friends to me or discussed in my presence that I have never repeated. Maybe I should.

Take a baby shower for me. My sister in-law wanted to throw us a large shower. I thought it was a nice jester and appreciated it. When others began mentioning having a shower for us, I mentioned that my sister in-law wanted to do it so suggested that they work with her for one big shower. No one wanted to. One person even said that they have to work with her in Junior League so please don't ask them to work with her on this. This put me in a hard place. How could I tell her this and not be blamed for it? So I tried to work around it and emailed her in November asking that she just have a family and family friend shower in January. I never heard anything else so figured it was in the works. Basically, the invite list would be the same as the family friend Christmas card list. It wasn't until 11 days before the shower date that I found out she wasn't doing anything. Again, this was all blamed on me. How?? I guess I should have just told what I knew and let the chips fall but I was trying not to hurt anyone and accept the offers from everyone.