Never having babies before I never thought that less physical activity and more mental activity would tire a baby out. Let me explain.
This past Saturday I got up around 6:20 to get myself ready before the babies got up. See, we were taking them to the homecoming parade and it was to start at 8 am. The babies were both up by 6:45 and right at 7 we started feeding them breakfast. We had them fed, "bottled", and changed and in their car seats by 7:35. We felt this was pretty good given we also were trying to give them time to "dirty" their diaper before we left as well since changing a diaper at the parade could be a little tricky.
On the way downtown we stopped and picked us up breakfast. We arrived at the "parade spot" my husband likes at 8:05. The parade was just starting to get to this location so we quickly ate. My husband and I held the babies, passed them between the two of us, and enjoyed the parade. At about 9:10, I was holding our son and he just crashed. Poor guy did not even wake up when I put him in the car seat. We came home and put both babies in their cribs for their naps as our daughter fell asleep on the way home.
Both babies slept until we woke them at 11:30 for lunch. After they ate, we loaded them back up in the car and we all went out to lunch. The babies usually go down between 2-2:30 for their afternoon nap but it was all they could do to stay awake until 1:45. Again, they slept until we woke them at 4:30.
At nite, they usually go down around 7:20-7:40. This nite, they both crashed by 7:10.
The only thing my husband and I could liken it to was back in our college days. We remembered how exhausted we would get when we had to study for a big test or spend the day taking exams. I guess this is how the babies' felt. They had had so much mental stimulation at the parade and the new restaurant that they were just overloaded.
So, it appears that for our two, mental stimulation can be just as tiring as physical stimulation.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Do Not Analyze
I have to start by saying this is strictly a post to try to clarify - shouldn't have to but...- my posts.
First of all, I write what I mean. No one needs to print my posts and gather at lunch or dinner with a bunch of their friends to "try to figure it out". There is nothing to "figure out". If you want to discuss the posts, fine. Having my butt jumped for what people assumed or thought they knew what I meant by what I said has been the whole issue from the start.
Secondly, I love my husband. I think I have proved that with everything I have given up for a life with him and everything I have put myself through and had to put up with to provide a family for us. If anyone ever uses the phase "if you love your husband you will...." again when speaking/emailing me, and let me be perfectly clear so no one has to "figure" this out, I will unleash a rather severe wrath.
Third, it has been stated that I want to move. Well, wouldn't you? Let's review just a few things that have been done to me. I have had hate mail put inside a birthday present, I have been accused of being rude when I was actually too depressed about the whole baby issue to talk - anyone would've known this had they asked, I have had in-laws wish that our marriage would not last (said on our wedding day at our wedding), I have had to explain innocent decisions and actions because, again, it was assumed that I obviously meant something completely different, I have changed my plans to be at functions for people who would not even consider doing this for me/us/our children, I have had someone stand up in a restaurant and jump my butt, again for what they thought I meant, I have brought two of the most perfect babies home from the hospital to no fanfare at all, and all of this has been treated as accepted behavior toward me/us. I have been told who I should be friends with, I have had "so called" friends of my in-laws make statements to me about the bad way they feel about my husband's sister, then this same person, feeling guilty maybe, has run to her within 15 hours of the conversation to tell her that I was the one that said all of the terrible things - which this person was believed as she sold it so well that when my husband was asked about it by his family & he told them that this other person had said "the things", he wasn't even believed....by his own family.
Fourth, the majority of what we have heard has come from third parties. Anyone under the misguided assumption that no one knew any of the stuff I have written about - until they read my posts - is hugely mistaken. After all, how do you think we found out about the majority of these things? Which leads me to wonder about someone who is more worried that people know what has been done/said then they are by what has actually been done/said.
I hope this post has cleared up everything. I do want everything to be great for us and our children. I have done nothing with any intent to hurt or paint anyone in a poor light. If simply stating what has been done makes someone appear that way, then maybe they should be careful and think about what they do. Do I want people to "walk on eggshells"? No, absolutely not. Am I going to nic-pic everything, no. I have just reached a breaking point and wish that, for once just think about what you do. If you would not send hate mail in a birthday present to anyone else, if you would not wish anyone else's marriage would end soon, if you would not ignore what someone else could be going through, if you would not ignore someone's kids or family events, or if you would not stand up in a restaurant and attack someone else, then simply don't do it to me. I have never done any of these things to anyone......ever. Actually, never thought about doing any of these things.
Now, back to the babies...
First of all, I write what I mean. No one needs to print my posts and gather at lunch or dinner with a bunch of their friends to "try to figure it out". There is nothing to "figure out". If you want to discuss the posts, fine. Having my butt jumped for what people assumed or thought they knew what I meant by what I said has been the whole issue from the start.
Secondly, I love my husband. I think I have proved that with everything I have given up for a life with him and everything I have put myself through and had to put up with to provide a family for us. If anyone ever uses the phase "if you love your husband you will...." again when speaking/emailing me, and let me be perfectly clear so no one has to "figure" this out, I will unleash a rather severe wrath.
Third, it has been stated that I want to move. Well, wouldn't you? Let's review just a few things that have been done to me. I have had hate mail put inside a birthday present, I have been accused of being rude when I was actually too depressed about the whole baby issue to talk - anyone would've known this had they asked, I have had in-laws wish that our marriage would not last (said on our wedding day at our wedding), I have had to explain innocent decisions and actions because, again, it was assumed that I obviously meant something completely different, I have changed my plans to be at functions for people who would not even consider doing this for me/us/our children, I have had someone stand up in a restaurant and jump my butt, again for what they thought I meant, I have brought two of the most perfect babies home from the hospital to no fanfare at all, and all of this has been treated as accepted behavior toward me/us. I have been told who I should be friends with, I have had "so called" friends of my in-laws make statements to me about the bad way they feel about my husband's sister, then this same person, feeling guilty maybe, has run to her within 15 hours of the conversation to tell her that I was the one that said all of the terrible things - which this person was believed as she sold it so well that when my husband was asked about it by his family & he told them that this other person had said "the things", he wasn't even believed....by his own family.
Fourth, the majority of what we have heard has come from third parties. Anyone under the misguided assumption that no one knew any of the stuff I have written about - until they read my posts - is hugely mistaken. After all, how do you think we found out about the majority of these things? Which leads me to wonder about someone who is more worried that people know what has been done/said then they are by what has actually been done/said.
I hope this post has cleared up everything. I do want everything to be great for us and our children. I have done nothing with any intent to hurt or paint anyone in a poor light. If simply stating what has been done makes someone appear that way, then maybe they should be careful and think about what they do. Do I want people to "walk on eggshells"? No, absolutely not. Am I going to nic-pic everything, no. I have just reached a breaking point and wish that, for once just think about what you do. If you would not send hate mail in a birthday present to anyone else, if you would not wish anyone else's marriage would end soon, if you would not ignore what someone else could be going through, if you would not ignore someone's kids or family events, or if you would not stand up in a restaurant and attack someone else, then simply don't do it to me. I have never done any of these things to anyone......ever. Actually, never thought about doing any of these things.
Now, back to the babies...
Monday, October 12, 2009
Dinner
Last nite we had our official "room warming". We had several friends over for a great chili dinner - my husband found the recipe online - and everyone brought something to add to the meal and we just sat around and relaxed. We got to show off the babies' new playroom and my re-worked pool table/dining room table with the new chairs. The dining room was not as tight as I had thought it would be. Overall, I would say we had a great dinner!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Weekend
It is a rainy Friday but the start of a weekend. Since we have our rooms finally finished we are having a "dinner party" this Sunday with a great group of friends. Kind of a "room warming". I can't wait to see everyone and be able to relax with friends. I am planning on cooking a big crock pot of chili and letting people just bring cheese, crackers, etc - anything they want but nothing fancy. I think everyone feels more relaxed and comfortable when we are just throwing something together and sitting around than trying to be too formal.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Random thoughts
I'm sitting here watching the babies play, our son in a jumper and our daughter in an exersaucer. Both toys are beside each other so the babies are babbling and laughing at each other. It is so special that I just cannot imagine how these two will grow up.
I want them to grow up feeling loved, feeling important, and feeling like they belong. My biggest fear is that they will look at me one day and ask "why" about how they feel or have been made to feel. I try to protect them as much as possible but it is hard. I also want them to feel like they belong but how will they when they are just not that important to most.
I also have no way of knowing what is suppose to be expected for them. See, I have tried to make time for them to be celebrated but it always fails. I have heard "we have done it for all the other kids so of course I will do it for yours", then I have been told "just because we did it for others doesn't mean we have to do it for yours". Which one is it? I had hoped that everything done for others that celebrated others and brought family together would be a given for our children. Unfortunately, it was not. However, I predicted it. I always asked my husband why we had to change plans to be there for everyone else. He always answered that because they will do it for us when the time comes. I usually rolled my eyes & sighed because I thought he was setting himself up for disappointment. As it turned out, I was right - but not happy that I was right.
We are now making plans for the holidays and really only thinking of what we want to do. We don't want to set ourselves or babies up to be ignored, which has now become the accepted family practice. Halloween we will be going to the zoo, Thanksgiving is still "open" and we will be in KY for Christmas. We just have to go forward and plan for our children and try to make their holiday experiences as special as possible.
I want them to grow up feeling loved, feeling important, and feeling like they belong. My biggest fear is that they will look at me one day and ask "why" about how they feel or have been made to feel. I try to protect them as much as possible but it is hard. I also want them to feel like they belong but how will they when they are just not that important to most.
I also have no way of knowing what is suppose to be expected for them. See, I have tried to make time for them to be celebrated but it always fails. I have heard "we have done it for all the other kids so of course I will do it for yours", then I have been told "just because we did it for others doesn't mean we have to do it for yours". Which one is it? I had hoped that everything done for others that celebrated others and brought family together would be a given for our children. Unfortunately, it was not. However, I predicted it. I always asked my husband why we had to change plans to be there for everyone else. He always answered that because they will do it for us when the time comes. I usually rolled my eyes & sighed because I thought he was setting himself up for disappointment. As it turned out, I was right - but not happy that I was right.
We are now making plans for the holidays and really only thinking of what we want to do. We don't want to set ourselves or babies up to be ignored, which has now become the accepted family practice. Halloween we will be going to the zoo, Thanksgiving is still "open" and we will be in KY for Christmas. We just have to go forward and plan for our children and try to make their holiday experiences as special as possible.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Rainy Day
It's Sunday and rainy. One of those days that makes you feel like staying in and not getting out of your pj's. Which I think is exactly what I am going to do with the babies.
We got up with our son, who is the early riser, then got our daughter up. We fed them breakfast & played with them. After about an hour I went to the grocery store while my husband got them ready for and put them down for a nap. When I returned home, after being rained on while getting the groceries, I put my "mom uniform" on (sweatpants & shirt) and curled up in a chair.
We have fed the babies their lunch and my husband has gone to get us something to eat. The babies are in their exersaucers & still in their pj's. I think we may just stay this way all day......
We got up with our son, who is the early riser, then got our daughter up. We fed them breakfast & played with them. After about an hour I went to the grocery store while my husband got them ready for and put them down for a nap. When I returned home, after being rained on while getting the groceries, I put my "mom uniform" on (sweatpants & shirt) and curled up in a chair.
We have fed the babies their lunch and my husband has gone to get us something to eat. The babies are in their exersaucers & still in their pj's. I think we may just stay this way all day......
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